What's Important

Last night we did our usual dinner with the neighbors. Sometimes we barbecue, sometimes it's pizza. Last night it was Chinese at our house. Some Sundays it's 9 of us (like last night), and other Sundays it's 17 of us. (like a few of the barbecues) It's become a regular thing, or at least 2 or 3 Sundays a month. I absolutely love it. All the kids playing until dark in the back yard, or riding bikes in the neighborhood. Grown ups talking in the kitchen, eating desert, or putting dishes away. Sometimes we play cards, sometimes we just talk. I know my children will grow up to remember these nights more than almost anything.
I remember my mother having her friends over to play cards once a month. I can remember trying to listen in on the grown ups conversations, and playing with the other kids. I remember the snacks, the brownies, the loud voices. It's funny the things we remember from our childhood.
I remember long walks after dinner with my parents. We'd go for hours sometimes and just walk around the neighborhoods and talk.
I remember the Sunday drives looking at houses for sale, and stopping at every open house. We weren't buying, but my sister and I would rush into the homes and frantically stake out our bedrooms. Then we'd tell the realtor this house is way overpriced!
I remember the roasts and rolls my mom would make, and her famous brownies.
I remember the first day of school each year, and the night before. My mom would lay out the outfits she was making for us. We'd pick the one we wanted to wear and she'd rush off to finish sewing it before morning.
I remember walking to school with my mom, and having snacks waiting for me after school.
I remember every Christmas Emily and I would search the tree for an odd piece of tinsel. It would be our special necklace for that year. (a silver delicate chain, almost indistinguishable from the real tinsel!)
I remember Holidays with all our crazy relatives. (and we had our share!) The best part was listening to all the conversations.
I remember listening to our radio programs on Tuesday nights. Mom would make graham crackers with homemade chocolate frosting, sometimes mint chocolate, the night before. That way they would be soft for the show. We'd sit on the floor next to the waterbed, or sometimes lie on the waterbed and listen to Fibber Mcgee and Molly, or The Shadow, or The Green Hornet.

I don't remember any of the toys I had growing up, except one. I wanted this pinball machine so much! I was about 10 years old, and it cost about $15. My mom and dad made me save to buy it, and I did. I finally had enough in nickles, dimes and quarters to buy it. It was one of those plastic flat pinball things where you have to pull the plastic knob back to send the steel ball flying, and it'd go around this plastic spiral frought with dangerous holes. If you missed them all you could get a bulls eye and score a ton of points. (which you had to keep a running tally in your head for - there were no bright lights on this thing!) Anyway, that's the only toy I really remember, and I had a lot of toys.

I wrote about my memories because of a blog I read today. The things you do to make memories are the most important gifts you can give your family.

I was reading a blog today written by Courtney, the sister of a mother of four. Courtney's sister's name is Nie. Nie and her husband were learning to fly this summer. They took off one day in August and something went wrong. The plane went down on takeoff. The instructor was killed. Nie and her husband were severely burned and injured, Nie over 80% of her body, her husband 30%. The families of these people instantly went into action, taking care of the children (the children all went with the sister who is now doing the updates on the Blog, and who has her own newborn), and starting fundraising to help with medical costs. You can see the blog here: http://blog.cjanerun.com/

What struck me was something Courtney said in her blogging. She said she never thought she had put in enough time and effort to have such great people around her to help with all the things that needed to be done. The Relief Society came to clean her kitchen, neighbors donated food and meals, friends watched children so she and her husband could have date nights, others donated money or items to be auctioned off to help her sisters fund for medical costs.
I think this is a question everyone should ask every day. Have I contributed enough that others would want to help in a time of need? Have I created memories for my family? Or have I been so self absorbed that no one would notice if I was missing? It really brought it home for me, what's important. Family is everything.

I think the time and energy you put into your life and those lives around you will directly define you as a person. Nothing else. It is a good lesson for us all.